Ain’t that the truth? Soon enough. (Taken with Instagram)
Ain’t that the truth? Soon enough. (Taken with Instagram)
Blue Angels flying right over us! Happy Fourth of July :) (Taken with Instagram)
This week, I’m back in New York at my old stomping grounds (Go Pride!) for some career help and graduation parties. Although I only graduated a mere month ago, I feel surprisingly distanced from the life I had here, now that I’m an official “adult” (ew, when did that happen?). Yesterday, just for kicks and giggles, I drove around this ghetto college town (the town is ghetto, not the college. LOL love ya Hempstead!) and found myself navigating toward the various places I lived during my college career. And I thought about how different they all were, and how aptly they fit with how my life was going at that point in time. Here are 5 different places you may live in while at college.
1. Double Dorm Room, All-Girls High-Rise Tower: The first place I ever lived in at school was your standard dorm room, with two beds, two closets, and not nearly enough space for two girls to share comfortably. It was also the only all-girls residential building on campus. Now I’m not saying I’m boy crazy or anything, but I’m COMPLETELY BOY CRAZY and thoroughly enjoy hanging out with the male species. So needless to say, I cursed whatever god decided it would be funny to place me in the all-girls tower. How did I end up there, you may ask, when the majority of my freshman class ended up in the suite-style residence halls that were all grouped together in a way that forced everyone there to become BFFs instantly? Because I didn’t fill out the residential paperwork correctly. Yes, the naive little freshman that I was couldn’t even fill out a form right, and therefore was stuck in an estrogen-fueled building filled with high-pitched voices, the occasional cat fight, and too much hair clogging up the showers. Oh, and my roommate had narcolepsy, so there was that.
What I’ve Read: 50 Shades of Grey by E.L. James
I’m not quite sure where to start here. First, let me just confirm what you already know. Spoiler alert! The writing sucks. It sucks so hard that you almost can’t believe it. I could feel my brain cells dying. And that’s not the only reason the cells were dropping off like flies. It’s also boring.
Second, let me just clue all of you in on a little secret. If you want to read about sex, people having sex, people enjoying sex, people having smutty sex, people having BDSM sex, THIS IS NOT YOUR ONLY OPTION. (Here’s the link to Literotica. You’re welcome.)
I was discussing this book with a few friends last week and they said, “Yeah, it’s terrible, but the sex scenes were so good!” So, what you’re saying is that I should sit through hundreds of pages of an abusive relationship, shitty characters that I hated from page one and the most godawful writing I’ve read in years because it has SEX IN IT?
I’m sorry, but no. No. No. No. Good erotica exists. This is not it. This will NEVER be it. If you want sex scenes, look elsewhere. If you’re looking for a love story, this is not it. If you’re wanting an entertaining beach read, Andy Cohen wrote a good one.
You know what really pisses me off about this book? It’s insulting, on top of which, it worked. Millions of women reading this thinking that BDSM sounds so glamorous, and oh, Ana has such an enviable life with her handsome abusive sex master, why can’t I have that life?
Because that life would SUCK. Newsflash! You can have BDSM sex and be in a loving, caring relationship. Yep, that’s a real thing. You don’t need some pseudo-English accent speaking multimillionaire with mommy issues swooping down to control your life.
Basically, I’m just sick to death of reading books that play off the lowest common denominator in their blatant push to appeal to a female audience. Romance, sex, handsome guys? Sure, I’ll take it all. But don’t insult me in the process. Don’t assume I have to imagine myself being utterly controlled to enjoy those things. I’ll be the first to admit I read Twilight and found the series entertaining. I watch the movies too. Do I think that they contain some pretty shitty messages in general, but especially for women—young, impressionable women in particular? Yep. I definitely do. But, if you’ll recall, in Twilight, Bella—while mostly a naive dolt—also makes a few decisions of her own. Maybe stupid ones sometimes, but at least she makes them of her own accord while everyone around her tries to convince her otherwise. Guess what Ana does? She’ll limply protest Christian for a few mind-numbing paragraphs before she inevitably gives in, whether it’s because he’s ploying her with sex or money or emotional mind-games or whatever other currency she seems to value more than her own brain at that particular moment.
I know some people say, “Well, I don’t take it seriously, but it’s an entertaining book.” Bullshit. Insulting your intelligence with this book is not entertaining. Enjoying the blow-by-blow breakdown of getting sucked into an abusive relationship is not entertaining. But what about the sex, you say? Sex is entertaining, sure, so go have it yourself. Or read some quality erotica. OR! Go see Magic Mike.
So far, I whole-heartedly agree with all of the above. But I’m only on page 100, so maybe my thoughts will change! We shall see.
You don’t know what we’ve been through, that (boy)’s my best friend.
My life, currently.
I can’t believe how fast these four years have gone by. Honestly I feel like freshman orientation was yesterday. But through all the ups and downs, I had the time of my life and met some amazing people along the way. I’ll miss you, Class of 2012. “You’ll be with me, like a handprint on my heart.”